´Je ne suis qu´un futur mort´.
An intensively philosophical novel, Autoportrait de l´autre by Iranian-born French writer Chahdortt Djavann is a long meditation about brutality of existence. Compared to the previous autobiographical novel I´ve read by her, this short - less than 150 pages - novel has a strong existential and meditative layer.
A war photographer with a deceiving family background - abandoned by his mother, growing up with an ailing grandmother in Bretagne that he left in his 17 for escaping to Paris - the storyteller is on his dying bed, remembering fast forward emotions and episodes of his eventful life. The brutality of his life experiences translates into a tormented relationship with women, with himself. The love at first bit, Lilith - the name choice is not accidental as it is referred to the supposedly first wife of Adam, a fallen angry she-angel - was full of passion only because never fully consumed as a relationship and is surrounded by a dream-like hollow because she was the one who left him, after two days of intensive love in the grounds of a bombed building in Grozny.
The novel, written with short sentences, is not talking about philosophy, but allows the main character to expose the brutality of life, of humans and their humanity. It is thoughtful and dramatic, but it shares an important view on life that cannot be changed or beautified, once one noticed the everyday homo homini lupus cruelty.
Rating: 3 stars
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