Some book you read for the beauty of the prose, some for the novelty of the information, some by curiosity and some just because you may find pieces of yourself or of your friends´ self in it. For various reasons, more or less personal, I am interested in stories about people who took a courageous step ahead of their life and community and traditions to write their own story, particularly in relation with a religious environment. Happily, in the last years, a large variety of books on such topics were published, under the category of memoir, aimed at sharing a particular life story but also inspiring others able to do the same.
In the Jewish realm, such stories are filled under the category ´off the derech´ - leaving the Orthodox Judaism. Definitely, there are different degrees of Orthodoxy and different shades in between. For the reader/observer not familiar with the topic, things may look easy, but seen from inside, there are many colourful nuances between the white and the black. I had the chance elsewehere to extensively cover such topics and their reflection in memoirs - from the Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman to Abby Chava Stein or my favorite one, written by the talented Leah Vincent.
There are stories hard to understand from outside. Stories about people who lost custody and even access to their children, stories of suicide and deep depression, of families broke up and women left completely alone. It is hard to understand the burden of breaking up with a lifestyle where you feel safe and protected, for finding yourself alone in the middle of world you hardly know. How does it feel to feel your hair free and your skin kissed by the summer wind. Sometimes one needs to get lost before finding oneself.
The latest testimony in the ever growing library of memoirs about leaving the religious fold is Julia Haart´s Brazen. After watching her Netflix reality show My Unorthodox Life I was not sure if I ever want to read her memoir. There were some parts which I´ve found gratuitously vulgar and the discussions about sex - although understandable after living for years in a world where the word is never mentioned - were rather exhibitionist.
But happily for me, the memoir is more thoughtful and the voice is less strident. Definitely there are many elements missing completely from the movie, which do shed light better on Julia and her family story. Among others, for being born in the Soviet Union and the journey of her family to the free world, which included also increasing the degree of religiosity until becoming one of the many baal teshuva - a term referred to secular Jews increasing the degree of observance - families. The fact that she used to be a teacher in a religious school.
The book is a one person show with a strong message about her own experience as a woman unable to attain her full potential - either through the limited access to education or through the assigned second place in relation with a man who is supposed to learn, attain higher religious and personal success.
Haart is a very strong woman; leaving behind a community and lifestyle and a relationship at 42 and starting a successful business without previous business experience is an outstanding achievement. As a first hand, first person account, the strength of the personal story is stronger than the literary qualities of the text. The text is also accessible to people without a deep knowledge about various religious groups and rituals, as it is centered on a woman voice telling her own individual story. A shameless and bold story about survival but also of (finally) finding her own place.
As much as such stories are important for our own empowerement as women, one should not forget that no one should be afraid to break free from a situation he or she considers limitative and oppressive. Religious estalishments everyone may not have anything to do with the religion they are obsessively pretend to rely on.
I am glad Brazen changed me my overall opinion about Haart. I am also glad that I am living in times when women may be lucky enough to start a new free life, no matter how late in life, and to brilliantly succeed, no matter in what domain of activity. Compared to many other OTD cases, Haart was luckier and she was also able to keep her children close. Her journey is worth mentioning, but one should never forget those who struggle and those who were lost. No one has the right to steal one´s life and there is no religious entitlement of doing so.
Rating: 3.5 stars
Disclaimer: Book offered as part of the book tour but the opinions are, as usual, my own
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