50 Ways to Leave Your Husband

 ´In einer Welt, wo Frauen mehr Macht hätten, wären die Männer netter zu uns´.

I don´t remember to have ever read such a sharp, sad and realistic account of the state-of-arts of being a single woman - Alleinerziehende - in Germany. 50 Ways to Leave your Ehemann by Jacinta Nandi is the story of the author´s navigating a world full of unreliable men, written with an immense sense of humor, the perfect antidote to a grim horrible reality.

From outside, German society is praised for its generous Elternzeit and Kindergeld, but do you know that such benefits may be included as part of the revenue and therefore taxed? Did you ever heard about what happens to a single mother whose ex is literally hiding his sources of revenue refusing to pay anything to his beloved child - whose co-parenting rights will not give up at any price, even if he is visiting his child maybe few times the year, if ever? And so on. Until you are not there, you may hardly notice how hard it is to deal with all the hussle, and pressure and bureaucracy and the humiliation of turning into second class citizen as far as you decide to leave your husband - or lover. Thus, if you ever think about accusing a woman refusing to leave an abusive relationship, think in terms of taxes and money. It may give you some hints.

What I really appreciated is how Nandi, who is British by birth and single mother of two living in Berlin, is trying to understand, going beyond her experience and therefore gathering many diverse experiences and thoughts about the topic. Thus, it brings a lot of nuances into the problem which is an open wound of the German society. In fact, it may reveal that a society who mistreats its single mothers, may have a long-term tolerance and acceptance issue and until the perception and treatment of single women stay the same, the situation will never change.

50 Ways to Leave your Ehemann is a sad revelation of a condition inflicted to women - single or not - but offers nevertheless the key of understanding of why there are so many dysfunctional pathways in our brave ´generous´ German society. 

Rating: 5 stars