A refugee herself, having to flee Iran as a child, with her mother and brother, persecuted as Christian converts, Dina Nayeri offers more than a memorialistic story about what does it mean to be an immigrant. In The Ungrateful Refugee she is definitely sharing her story and her own memories of being a child, a girl, in the Islamic Republic, but she also adds stories of other refugees, going through more dramatic challenges.
There will never be enough stories about what does it mean and especially feel to be a refugee. But besides the stories themselves, there are many angles that we rarely take into account when we hear or analyse them: for instance, how the narrative is re-written over and over again, either to fit some specific expectations or the self-representation of the refugees themselves. And, most specifically, what is left behind from this stories, and why?
When one wants/desire to start anew, the narrative is rewritten to suit this desire, to encourage the change or when the plan succeeds, to fit into the new life. At what extent the identities are rewritten completely and how does it affect the mental and intellectual state of the refugee him or herself? What is truth and dare in their stories?
The stories shared by Nayeri, including her own, are rarely easy, and it took me more time than usual to finish this book. Refugees are here to stay and our world will never turn into a perfectly safe, free and democratic place. We need to accept and acknowledge refugee stories, the way they are, not how we expect them to fit our narrative. The Ungrateful Refugee may help us to be better humans in this respect.
Rating: 4.5 stars
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