Matchmaking, Indian Style

´Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...´

Long, but not so long time ago, I wasn´t aware that matchmaking - through a traditional knowledgeable matchmaker - may be a way of getting married in other communities than mine. Me, I´ve been there: preparing a CV with stronger credentials than a job application - who cares in a job application how learned are your family members four or five generations before? -, getting a list of features I want to see in my future husband, how many childrens (´Gd´s will´ is not the right answer in this context, no matter how religious you are, you have to say at least 6), if you are willing to support his religious studies or...well, there are so many other details to figure out. And then, the moment when from the huge mountain of CVs - who decreases with age - you pick up a couple of them, and you proceed to the next step: meeting him, together or separately from his/her family. And there are also those hours or days or even weeks after the first meeting with that one that decides to not proceed further to another date. Traditional dating can be heartbreaking and very emotional and some pray more and some cease to pray at all, but there are happy matches and unhappy couples that may divorce but also children - 6 or more or less - whose birth is the result of that meeting that was the result of the careful work of a matchmaker.

And there is Indian Matchmaking, a series of movies on Netflix I just finished to watch (this is how I am spending the end of the year vacation time so expect many more movie reviews soon). It features the resilient and diligent Sima Taparia from Mumbai who is crossing the Ocean to help young people find their right match. Her clients are well educated, with a very stable income, successful, young and beautiful and looking to start their next chapter of their life. 

Matchmaking is a tough job and Sima uses once in a while the help of a face-reader and a horoscope reader and prays a lot for a successful outcome for her clients. Sometimes she sends her clients to see a life coach or therapist or she is using the help of other matchmakers, with a different, more diversified database of customers. In the Indian culture, there is the concept of Nimit, a mediator, a person who is destined to bring two persons together and Sima is dutifully belonging to this category. She is realistic, keeps a sense of humour no matter what but equally mean enough when some of her clients are just too much. But 

The movie is in fact a reality show, with Sima´s clients and their parents - oh, especially their mothers with a clear plan to see their children, particularly boys, married - followed in real-life situations. I love to watch the deeply human part of the individual stories shared, the pain of previous failed relationships, the excitement of looking for something new, or the awkwarness of meeting someone completely out of your game.  

Even not necessarily interested in the dating game, there is so much to learn from this movie about society shifts and generational expectations, the truth and dare about real love and relationships, that are not necessarily born out of pure, wild, genuine love. My favorite part is the short snapshots with people married for over 30 years or even 50, old Indian couples who married for completely other reasons than love - mostly because those were the society expectations and their parents wanted it so, but still are gently together sharing a life of love. Despite the awkwarness of the traditional dating process, there is always hope for love and sometimes, there is a destiny that brings to human beings together. Full of hope for my own love life, from the bottom of my broken heart, I trully hope so.